Decent sleep
Grace, the home health aid showed up and gave Susie a sponge bath which she seemed to like. Then we gave her some kix and coffee. mmm.
She was fine with Grace - doing everything that she asked without question or hesitation.
Though, as soon as Grace left, Susie became extremely irritated with Bob (who was trying to help her walk somewhere). Then, when I took over, she was happy it was me at first, but quickly became just as irritated with me! heh. Sorry Susie. Odd that she obeys Grace without question and then resists anything from Bob or me.
Aside from that, Susie had a remarkably active morning! Insisting on walking almost everywhere. She even went outside for some rock carving, which she has not done in days! Though after 30 mins or so, she started to get tired and Bob noticed this and we moved her inside for a nap. Whe she starts to get tired, she slurs her words a bit more and starts to list a bit in her chair. When this happens, we think that we've got to get her some rest quickly or she will have another seizure.
after a few hours of napping, she wanted to get up again - refused help and nearly face-planted 3 times on her way to the living room. She watched (or tried to) TV for 30 mins, then wanted to go outside. Again refusing help, she toddled down the hallway, grasping anything for support (even things that provided none). We finally made it to the back door where she refused help again. She said that she would ask for help if she needed it. I said "..by then it's too late..." Wrong thing to say!!
She sits down on the back steps and attempts to scooch down the stairs, but she can't. She can't get up and can't get down, but completely refuses any help at all. she sits there like that is what she wanted to do in the first place. I sit with her and wait, but she won't budge. Stubborn.
It's so hard to know what to do. If you don't hover over her and try to help, she WILL fall, which would be horrible. Even when she looks like she is in control and has some strength, she can lose it all at any moment. It is *really* hard to pick her up when she has no strength to help - you have to have at least 2 people. It's hard that the things we do to help and protect her are the things that piss her off. I hope she doesn't remember situations like these for very long.
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6 comments:
Jonah - You are doing everything right. You are being there to support her and to make sure no harm comes to her as she moves about.
When I was a Social Worker I saw the behavior Susie is exhibiting.
At this point she has no control over how her life will proceed. She is trying to hang onto what independence she can by controlling how she gets from place to place. It is admirable for Susie to continue to be strong but frustrating as heck for you. Just continue doing what you are doing and know that even though she may not show it she really does appreciate it.
We love you.
Lisa & Dave
Dear Jonah,
I totally agree with what Lisa says!
Big hugs and strength for Susie and you-
roma
Jonah, it must be so difficult to try to help Susie because you love her but be unable to because she's stubbornly resisting and getting really angry. How not to take her response personally is a feat of indomitable strength. Bless you, I hope you too do not long remember these exchanges between you.
love
Sarah
Hi Jonah,
You are doing the right thing--ensuring a safe environment is important, even if Susie disagrees... I appreciate your sensitivity to Susie's desires. The devil is in striking the balance between the two, which it sounds like you've been doing well. Sounds very frustrating but you're doing an admirable job!
Today I had a funny "Susie" moment: I was talking with some other students about a project we are collaborating on. I wanted to express my agreement with what someone had said and I responded with "EggSalad!" I got a few confused looks...then translated into non-squirrel: "Um, I meant, Exactly!" I chuckled to myself as I realized that I had just unknowingly used Susie's squirrel slang... :-)
Susie is not angry, she's frustrated. She'll never stop loving you. Don't forget that honey =)
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