What I said

Six and half years - Six and a half years since initial diagnosis. What a roller coaster ride.

I recall from the beginning:
Susie was off at hockey when I got the call from her doctor. She had been trying to get a hold of us for days, but had been unsuccessful.

When she finally got through to someone, even though it was only me, she just had to deliver the bad news.
I had already lost my mom and my sister - each of which was a particularly long and difficult struggle, so
I knew what was in store for our future and where this path could lead.

So, for me, having to break the news to Susie was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life. I think I cried all night, waiting for Susie to get home and delivered the bad news.

Throughout the years, there have been many hurdles to get over, setbacks to overcome and treatments to endure, but through it all we did have hope, however. We always had hope.

I'd like to share a few things about Susie that you may or may not know

The most obvious thing that first attracted me to Susie was her sense of humor. Those that know the story will recall that she even made fun of me the very first day we met. I was hooked from day1.
And, of course, I was not the only one who found her humor unique.

It was playful, intelligent, and goofy.
But she could also be dry, sarcastic and even acidic at times.
However, every bit of it was all in good fun and never mean spirited.

She tried to find the humor in just about everything that she did.
She searched and found humor in even the simplest of things
Your choice of words, a facial expression, a gesture, or even some food on a plate. Particularly at Wellesley.


When she was stressed about work or when things weren't going so well,
she was still able to find something to laugh about - to distract her - if even for just a moment
She constantly reminded us that we should not take anything too seriously.

She had the same fantastic sense of humor through it all,
- even at the very end where she couldn't communicate much at all,
she could still give you a perfectly timed, raised eyebrow that said:
"are you nuts?" which just seemed to be the perfect thing for the moment.


Her humor, it seemed, lasted nearly the longest of everything.
I surely hope I can keep my humor when I catch up with her.

I can see her laughing at me right now. Making fun of me - AGAIN.


One of Susie's biggest joys in our life in California was hockey.
I first started teaching her how to skate on rollerblades along the cliffs and beaches in Santa Cruz.
Then, I brought her to a tennis court where We had seen some local players playing from time to time and
we joined in. Everyone was very helpful in getting her started and she had a blast.

After we played in a few roller hockey leagues together, she tried Ice Hockey at a "give hockey a try day" with the Northern California Women's Hockey League.

She was so happy to play with supportive people that helped other players get started and were all about the same level.
When she started to move up into the experienced leagues, she gave back to the league in many ways.
She offered to coach the beginning teams, co-captain, and then captain some teams.
She helped out with league evaluations, "give hockey a try-day" and donated old gear to players in need.

She loved to make up hockey team names, too.

Through hockey, we met a huge group of friends that became our California family.
Mostly transplants to the Bay Area and we ended up spending most of our weekends,
free time, holidays, and even vacations with our extended family.

One thanksgiving that we spent in Lake Tahoe with several hockey friends,
Susie started singing "squirrel" instead of "girl" in several songs that were on the radio.
At some point Susie said "Squirrelfriends" and it stuck.
Our whole group of friends came to be known as the Squirrelfriends

They even named a traveling hockey team that went to tournaments called "the flying squirrels".
They printed up some fantastic uniforms and went to many tournaments.
The flying squirrels still compete in tournaments in the USA and Canada today.

Susie had really discovered something fantastic with hockey.
She helped remind everyone that it's just a game and to not take things too seriously.
She received an MVP award and 2 Most Sportsmanlike awards -
the most recent one was just received just 2 months ago
(even thought she hadn't been on the ice 1/2 of the season)
With it, the words
"you have been an inspiration to many - on and off the ice"

We've made some incredible friends through hockey who have helped us in so many ways throughout the years. We are more like a great big family now.

...

Susie loved animals.
Having been surrounded by many different animals and pets in her childhood,
Susie grew up with strong feelings for animals.
But it actually went deeper that that. Not only did she love animals - but all living things.
So much so, that it deeply saddened her when she would even just read about an animal that needed a home.

Nature shows on TV? forget it. Even a mention of hardship in the animal world would make her sad.
She would even force me to catch moths, spiders and slugs and carefully re-locate them.

Part of the reason she became a vegetarian was,
caused by a visit to a chicken ranch where she witnessed the inhumane treatment there.
Never again would she eat anything that had a "fuzzy face" - as she would say.

In grad-school, she finally got some kittens of her own - Owen and Toby - 2 brothers.
They became the light and joy in her life and she adored them.

“Never has 2 boys and one girl made me so happy”

She could not even bear to go with me to the humane society to pick out our first dog.
She would have wanted to take home every single one.
She would have felt horrible for days because she had not picked a certain one.
All she could think about were all those innocent animals that all needed and deserved a good home.

We had talked about getting a second dog and she had seen one online that looked right,
but we weren't quite ready yet for another dog.

Some months later, when we were finally ready, she found out that this same dog was still available and Susie said,
"I have to have her"
No sooner had we laid eyes on her and it was love at first sight.
We said yes instantly.

Our pack, was finally complete.
Now , our house is a joy to come home to:
Owen, Toby, Kaili and Skyla - our fuzzy children.

...

One of the lines from our wedding vows said:
"Loving what I know of you - trusting what I don't yet know"

I guess there was a lot that I didn't know - She managed to surprise me in many interesting and wonderful ways.
Right after our wedding, she suggested that we both jump, fully clothed, into Bob and Sally's pool.

A few years later, on New Years Day, with the PBC, after saying that she wouldn't, she spontaneously went for a quick swim in the Atlantic Ocean to celebrate the new year.
Again, fully clothed.

I could not believe it when she agreed without a second thought to go skydiving (but only told her parents after we had done it).

Skydiving, Rafting, Climbing, Sailing, hiking, camping skiing snowboarding,
snowmobiling, scuba, snorkeling, canoeing, horseback riding, ATVing, mountain biking.

As well as painting, sculpting, carving, drawing, and writing.

When the Chemotherapy was going to make her lose her hair,
She dyed her hair blond, then purple and teal and finally even got a Mohawk!
She sent pictures to Bob and Sally of her new hairdoo while we were out to dinner
- she actually looked quite normal... considering it was Santa Cruz

She designed and got 2 very memorable tattoos.
I would not have thought she was the tattoo type at all.

First, a bear, encircled by a Celtic ring.

Then a Red Fox running - entwined by a Celtic design.

The Red Fox tattoo is a direct reference to the Poem "Let the Red Fox Run" Which Bob read earlier.
For Susie, this was an extremely bold statement - to tie herself so closely with this poem.

I think she knew at this time where this path was going to take her.

====================

I am truly grateful and humbled that she chose me to be her best friend, and husband.
She was the best thing that has ever happened to me.
I am a better person for having had her in my life.
She was everything I could have hoped for in a friend, and wife.
I loved being married to her, coming home to her each day and sleeping next to her each night.
We had a wonderful fuzzy family together and we had so much still left to do.
I will miss her terribly.
We will all miss her terribly.
She will never be forgotten

She Lived, She Laughed She loved, She Played Hockey.

I look forward to the years of memories that will surprise me again and again as I recall them and relive them with family and friends.

I encourage you all to write down these memories as they come to you and share them.


Thank You